Darker than death

there are times when your heart just sinks into a bottomless ocean...You feel your heart has just died, emotionless and fearless.You care for no one and nothing.When it gets worst, the only two emotions you experience is anger and hatred.You feel like killing everyone but despite feeling you are emotionless, something deep within stops you from hurting others. You let them be and wander in that dark black hole which sucks you deeper inside detatching you from your surroundings, making it too suffocating to breathe.,.

I dont know why it happens.At times when expectations which have a strong connection with your emotional well being arent met, these emotionless feelings seep in, At times when you arent able to meet your goals despite trying but there are too many worldly obstructions, you lose your dedication, motivation and will and you experience the darkness that spreads within you.Sometimes it also happens when you lose faith in someone who meant everything to you but betrayed you to a point that no one ca ever bring faith in humanity back into you.

Some people break down while some get up , straighten their clothes, and walk over everything that comes in their way with their head held high n their middle finger up in the air.

Those who break down opt for the easy way out..slipping through assuming it will get better.Not knowing but believing firmly that things can not possibly get worse.They are like a stone thrown into the river ,spreading ripples far and wide leaving the same effect like a chain reaction on many others connected with them and passing on the darkness like an inheritance.Those who walk over others stamping over them have the same effect but then they get to see whether it could possibly get worse or not while being alive yet dead at the same time.

Donald trump is like an appendix.its there yet serves no function (just like man nipple) except cause pain and disturbance when in action.He too needs to be surgically removed.

Everything has a purpose in this world.Not a single things has been created without a purpose.yet i always wonder what man nipples are for.hmm...what about appendix?

Shades of gray

Ive always wondered where it must have started ..why does every religion have its own rituals, traditions and practices? Every religion has its own series of "The guided Ones",genius preachers,spiritual gurus, scholars etc each one being immensely high in terms of spiritual elation,knowledge and logic, yet every religions despite being similar in the basics, differs completely in rituals, and practices.If one religion buries the dead, the other feeds the dead to vultures while another cremates the departed into ashes.

Where does that logic come from.Obviously I lack the motivation to study for 20 years just to understand the comparative notions of religions as i have a lot of diaper changing, cooking, house chores and feeding, sweeping, laundry and ofcourse office work to do but I do wonder that all these people were so high in logic and IQ yet how can they be so different in conclusions and reasoning.There after all is one Earth that has one answer to it no matter how many branches it has, they should all stem from the same tree but when i look at these religions they somewhat beg to differ and seem to have sprung out of completely different seeds.


Randomly I also wonder if it really will be that amazing to have my wish granted of becoming a ghost after death  with free will  or being invisible some day or would it make me miserable.I always think how amazing it would be to fly over through the sky to Jenifer Lopez and enjoy her million dollar a day regimes and lifestyle or to watch angelina jolie and brad Pitt with their amazing kids and see what theyre upto everyday( whats with my stalker like desire) .But then what fun would it be to wear the most amazing clothes, makeup and sip the best cocktails in the world while being invisible..what good use would it be if it cant be seen by anyone.so it sums up that we humans just want attention by the end of the day.we need to be seen, admired, copied,followed, envied,talked about etc and we would give up anything for all that ..well almost everything..now thats a long debate I really dont want to get into at 12:51 am.

Quite like a film's script.You can mostly predict the end

I was wondering how one can really predict the behavior of others by just applying a little bit of logic and rationale.for example , its so obvious that when you go for shopping to a store with an empty hand and a small wallet in your hand which is hardly visible, the staff barely pays any attention to your queries assuming you to be a window shopper, perhaps this being a part of their training.On the other hand if you carry a shopping bag esp one with the brand name printed on it of either their next door shop or even more convincingly, of their competitor, they treat you with such immense enthusiasm as is possible knowing you are a potential customer most likely to empty your pockets at their store.It's all quite amusing :)

Similarly if in a class at the college you keep a serious face, maintain a forward leaning posture, concentration on your face (regardless of the eccentric day dreaming), direct eye contact with the professor during a lecture, and a pencil in one hand and the other hand on the notebook, it's quite likely that the professor might take you as one of Einstein's offspring and assume you are the next nobel peace price winner with the highest I.Q  to be ever recorded in his whole career.

eating watermelons and peeing like a rabbit

Im eating 3Kgs of water melon each day since 3 days to lose weight.I saw a few youtube videos on weightloss ( I wish I hadnt wasted so much time and money on my bachelors and Masters degrees because Youtube is so educational I can become a bone doctor..what ever thats called , by just watching surgery videos) Though the videos had promising claims , I swear I havent reached anywhere with the watermelon detox diet except that Ive been peeing like a rabbit and feeling over hydrated.Each time I eat it, i feel full for another 2-3 hours. Thats the best of it. I'm still fat...I thought Id be like kim kardashian after three days but so far im still like queen latifa.

"youtube leech" should be a dictionary term

Ok finally after crying for 30 minutes or more over a pack of skittles,my toddler is finally asleep.I had many plans for the day.My list always begins with 5-6 very interesting activities to do for the day but are never implemented.Either the summer heat discourages me from going outdoors or having no babysitter worries my energy out like a b grade battery. Is it just because Im too lazy or tired ? How can I be both at the same time yet i really am both.Lazy and tired? really? aren't these antonyms in the true sense?

I have precisely one hour to myself. Any sane person would throw a party ,dance to the beat, pop some soda cans or go shoot ducks but me...nooooo....im so interesting that I'll just watch some "how to make laundry racks from PVC pipes" videos on youtube which will lead to overwhelming me so much that I'll vow to a new mission of changing the world with PVC pipes.

The sun is setting and im too lazy to turn on the lights. n mosquitoes have finally found their way to a healthy hearty dinner....yeah go on suckers...suck my blood dry ..maybe I'll lose some weight that way! Im too lazy to even edit my typos and punctuations.

hmm....